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Our Grokio Labs technicians will get to work, analyzing your DNA for markers associated with increased lipid retention and signifiers that may have helped your ancestors succumb to flabbin instead of famine. We'll also link your DNA patterns to others in the 423andMe database to find people you may be related to who are already serious chonkosaurs. Using these data points, our team of scientists will then identify the specific foods that your lardass DNA craves.
Finally, our Grokio Labs dieticians will construct the perfect scale-busting diet that will turn you into a chunked out, overstuffed pile of blubber. Whether your weight goal is 423 pounds or 4,230 pounds, we'll get you there. Thanks, science!
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