...
Then sit back, relax and let science do the heavy lifting.
...
Our Grokio Labs technicians will get to work, analyzing your DNA for markers associated with increased lipid retention and signifiers that may have helped your ancestors succumb to flabbin instead of famine. We'll also link your DNA patterns to others in the 423andMe database to find people you may be related to who are already serious chonkosaurs. Using these data points, our team of scientists will then identify the specific foods that your lardass DNA craves.
...
A Grokio Labs technician works on breakthrough technology that allows Grommr members to become so fat, they can break through walls like the Kool-Aid man.
Finally, our Grokio Labs dieticians will construct the perfect scale-busting diet that will turn you into a chunked out, overstuffed pile of blubber. Whether your weight goal is 423 pounds or 4,230 pounds, we'll get you there. Thanks, science!
...
To sign up, please send an e-mail to 423andmeisnotreal@grokiolabs.com
A Grokio Labs technician works on breakthrough technology that allows Grommr members to become so fat, they can break through walls like the Kool-Aid man.
| Panel | ||
|---|---|---|
| ||
*We reserve the right to use your DNA to create any of the following: Fat clones; thin clones; thin clones who become fat clones; clones that say things like "Live, laugh, lunch"; ice cream clones; clones that are only capable of metabolizing "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Spray"; clones of clones; clones of those clones; oh God, we've made so many clones, what have we done?!?!; George Cloney. |